


Everybody Knows a Turkey (and Some Mistletoe)

by yuletide_archivist



Category: Jeeves - P. G. Wodehouse
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2006-12-20
Updated: 2006-12-20
Packaged: 2018-01-25 07:27:36
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,108
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1638878
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/yuletide_archivist/pseuds/yuletide_archivist
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Aunt Agatha sends Bertie a rather.interesting gift, and Jeeves helps him cope.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Everybody Knows a Turkey (and Some Mistletoe)

**Author's Note:**

> PG for light, light slash. Thanks to Kathy for beta reading for me! 
> 
> Written for kalpurna

 

 

"I say, Jeeves!"

Bertram Wilberforce Wooster came strolling into his living room, half-dressed in something that resembled what might someday have become a suit-and-tie outfit. But today was not that day.

Jeeves continued with his project of making fresh tea for Bertie. It had occurred to him several years ago that occupying oneself with some small task would act as quite a lovely mask for ignoring one's friend's sometimes...odd...ramblings.

But today, making tea did not seem to act as such a mask, unfortunately.

"I _say_ , Jeeves!"

Jeeves reluctantly turned from his task.

"Sir?"

"Jeeves, don't you think this tie is simply ridiculous?" Bertie was holding a hideous green and gray plaid tie over the trash bin, looking at it with an expression which could only be described as "utter and complete disgust."

Jeeves raised an eyebrow and turned back to his tea.

"Indeed, it _is_ rather...eccentric, sir."

"Oh, this goes quite a bit beyond 'eccentric,' Jeeves! I'd say it's even borderline nuts!"

"But sir, didn't your Aunt Agatha send that to you for Christmas?"

Bertie plucked the box the tie had formerly been in from the trash bin, and looked at the tag. He furrowed his brow.

"Oh. It does seem that way, doesn't it?"

He tossed the box back into the bin, and held the tie up at eye level so he could look at it better. However, one could argue, Bertie didn't seem to want to look at the thing any more than he had to. And Jeeves couldn't really blame him.

"But do I _have_ to wear it, Jeeves?"

On occasion, Bertie reminded Jeeves of a petulant two-year-old who hadn't been properly disciplined in a few months.

"I think it would be wise, sir."

"But we're only going to be there for five minutes anyway. It's not like she'll notice if I'm not wearing it."

"I have the rather unpleasant feeling that she would, sir."

"But she wouldn't be _too_ upset, would she, Jeeves?"

Jeeves poured a cup of tea and handed it to Bertie, who took a rather large sip and sat the teacup down on his dresser. A few drops spilled onto the wood surface. Jeeves found a rag and cleaned it up.

"I believe she would not speak to you for a great many weeks, sir."

Bertie made a face.

"Well, Jeeves, that doesn't exactly sound half bad."

"Sir?"

"No having to talk to Aunt Agatha for a few weeks? I could finally _relax_ , Jeeves."

"And you don't already, sir?" Jeeves gave a sort of half-smile.

"True enough, Jeeves, true enough." Bertie picked up his tea again and took another sip. "So you really think I ought to wear this wretched thing to the Christmas dinner?"

"I do, sir."

"Even though it wouldn't particularly _change_ our relationship in any way if I didn't wear it?"

"If you say so, sir. I still believe the best choice would be to wear the tie to please your aunt. It is Christmas, after all."

Bertie let out a long-suffering sigh.

"I suppose you're right, Jeeves. Doesn't mean I'll like it, though."

"Indeed, sir."

"It really has turned into the Christmasy season of the year rather quickly, hasn't it, Jeeves?"

"It certainly has, sir."

Over the past few days, Jeeves had taken the liberty of setting up the Christmas tree that Bertie had bought on a whim and had failed to set up properly; the tree had been haphazardly shoved into the closet when Jeeves had found it. There were currently several brightly colored ornaments dotting the tree, along with some tinsel elegantly wrapped around it and an angel on the top. Along the counter tops, dressing tables and on the window sill, Jeeves had lit several small candles to give the room a more cheerful yet serene disposition. There were even some garlands lying decoratively around the living room and kitchen area. All in all, Jeeves felt he had done quite a sufficient job of making Bertie's home look festive. Well, more festive than usual.

"Well, if I'm to wear this...this _thing_ , which suit should I put on tonight?"

Jeeves disappeared into Bertie's closet, reappearing only a moment later, holding a dark green suit with a scarlet kerchief folded in the breast pocket.

Bertie's face held a confounded look that made it very difficult indeed for Jeeves to keep back the smile that was fighting to show on his own face.

"Where on earth did you get that, Jeeves?"

"Well, sir, I knew that your aunt would be requesting your presence at her annual Christmas dinner. I thought it would be fitting that you dress appropriately. I picked this up yesterday."

"It's _splendid_ , Jeeves!"

"I had hoped you might approve of it, sir."

"I do, Jeeves! I approve of it very much!"

All of a sudden, Bertie jumped forward and embraced Jeeves in a somewhat uncomfortable hug. Well, it was uncomfortable at first, but once he readjusted his standing position, Jeeves had to admit that it was not all that unpleasant. Indeed, there was something almost enjoyable about their awkward embrace. However, after a moment Bertie pulled away slightly, and looked up at Jeeves with eyes that certainly did _not_ say, _I am very glad to have you as a friend, now let's never do that hugging thing again_. Bertie's eyes seemed to be expressing something much more personal. Just as Bertie started leaning incredibly close to Jeeves's nose, Jeeves pulled away and straightened his jacket.

"Sir..." Jeeves said. "I'm not sure if that was entirely appropriate, even with the holiday atmosphere." And the mistletoe that had been right above their heads, he noted to himself.

Bertie's face fell, and Jeeves couldn't help but feel a twinge of regret for pulling away so suddenly.

"Yes. Yes, of course. You're right, Jeeves. I'm sorry."

"No need to apologize, sir."

"No, no. I must have had too much to drink at the Drones this afternoon. It won't happen again."

Jeeves was surprised at himself, because just as Bertie said that and left the room to get changed, his stomach dropped just a bit.

"Shall we be going then, Jeeves?"

Bertie had entered the living room looking dashing in his new suit and strangely complimentary tie. It didn't look horrible on Bertie at all. Jeeves cleared his throat and nodded.

As he opened the door, Jeeves gave Bertie a quick kiss, straight on the lips.

"Only because it's Christmas, sir," he said, giving Bertie a look that clearly said _that won't be happening again_.

Bertie chuckled and put a hand on Jeeves's shoulder as they made their way outside into the chilly London air.

 


End file.
